In Kurt Vonneguts novel " Slaughterhouse Five " a fictional porn starlet was captured by the Tralfamadorains to mate with the main character ( whom was " unstuck in time " ) Billy Pilgrim . Now I do plan to keep this blog a " family show " ( or " R" rated at least .. I promise ? ) but this fantasy stayed with me throughout my youth and well into my middle age. ( I've been at starbucks reading & overheard teenage girls saying things like " gf , he is wicked old .. I mean like 30 ! " , so at 42, I guess I'm Methuselah. ) My last girlfriend was 26 and hotter than the barrel of a Thompsons machine gun during a bank robbery in the roaring 20's .. and she dumped me like a set of bald tires . Nevertheless , my ability to fantasize is still intact , so now and then I exercise that muscle. ( Ok .. get the jokes and metaphors over already .. I'll wait . ( smile ) ) The idea of being held captive by aliens with a sex- kitten from my youth is something I will forever ALWAYS be grateful to Mr Vonnegut , aka Kilgore Trout for conceptualizing . ( You know he was born on the 11th and also died on the 11th , albiet a different month ? interesting .. ) . I'm sure there would be many Scarlett Johansson , Eva Longoria or even a few Teri Hatcher fans ( did anyone know Hatcher had a porn title under her designer belt ? Anyone ? ) and no disrespect to Valerie Perrine, she did have her moments and elegant decolletage .. However MY " Montana Wildhack " and this is my personal choice , would be Alexandria Quinn . Not only is she the MOAB ( Mother Of All Bombs ) of sex sirens , but she goes after her " prey " like a lioness would a wounded or fresh born gazelle . She also has a fun , easygoing personality without a lick of pretentiousness . ( Ha - no pun ! ) Yep .. if there's any Tralfamadorians blogging , please locate and kidnap Alexandria & myself for an indepth study in human mating customs . ( Please ? I'll throw in a lifetime supply of turtlewax with jojobah for spaceships , I promise . ) Nexus 6
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