" Top Ten Reasons Why Gort hates Humans & Wants Them Exterminated . "

10)Charging extraneously high prices for energy originating from the fossil remains of a species that perished eons ago & never did humans any harm . 9)Making billionaires of CEO's after they ran companies & corporations into the ground , costing countless middleclass & lowerclass humans their jobs & livelyhoods.. and paying them even more to " get lost . " 8)Humans who whine about not enough foam , too much foam , too little sweetener or too much sweetener in their beverages & then attempt to pay using a starbucks card that has mere pennies left in the account . ( Those barrista humans work their asses off, for no appreciation & minute wages ! ) 7)dancing , iceskating or living situations involving human celebrities whos careers are deader than trilobites . 6) Marcia Cross , snatching an apron away from an employee @ " Scavo's " pizzeria & claiming she knows how to make " three cheese pizza" . In fact , I shall make transforming myself into a swarm of nano - locusts & eradicating the set & cast of " Desperate Housewives " a priority , before destroying the rest of humanity . 5)Humans who check their e- mail via their cell phones @ " AA " meetings , while another human is " sharing ". 4)Humans who leave their turn signals on without executing their intention of turning . 3)Humans who fail to signal and turn anyway . 2)Humans who leave pets in any vehicle ( including interplanetary spacecraft ) with the windows rolled up , who claim " I'll just be a minute . " ( Klaatu .. that means you too . Sheesh ! ) 1)And the number one reason ... not cleaning up after civilizations on the precipice of self annihilation after deeming them worth saving . I mean Jesus Christ.. radioactive waste doesn't just clean itself up . And it has a half - life of centuries ! Come on ! - Nexus 6

" The Day The Blog Stood Still "

As a " non - moviegoer " , every once in a while I breakdown & feed the entertainment machine my $8.50, so I can checkout of reality on occasion & have something current to chat about ( besides politics , sex , or skimpy lingerie ) with my girlfriend Jessica &/or patrons & my fellow wandering kooks who are waiting in line at Starbucks for our morning java fix . ( That may or may not exclude the skimpy lingerie.) I couldn't resist going to see " Day The Earth Stood Still " being such an avid fan of the original film , directed by Robert Wise & brilliantly acted by Micheal Rennie & Patricia O' Neil . In 2008 , Klaatu is portrayed bereft of emotion or humor by Keanu Reeves , with Jennifer Connelly as the Patricia O'Neil counterpart. Most similarities between the original & the remake end after Klaatu enters Earths atmosphere . In the remake , Klaatu is born on Earth , arriving encased within an organic embryonic spacesuit. Gone are the subtle xenophobic parallels & " stranger in our midst " classic , dramatic metaphors . In todays vision , Klaatu is an enemy who must be destroyed before he does the same to us , according to present doctorine.There is also a nuance of socialism & " egalitarianistic retaliation " as a method of combat; instead of engaging the military directly with its immense stature , GORT chooses to separate itself into billions of microbots composing a collective serving the will of one entity ...a destructive , infrastructure dissolving, decay inducing swarm that eats away any solid matter on the surface & throughout in mere moments. Allegorically, Klaatu represents marxism at its most extreme , with GORT as the ultimate means to exercise his opinions and / or solutions in the political & geophysical sense . In the original film , Klaatu was empathetic while visiting a military cemetary with Bobby , Patricia O' Neils son who explained why so many died in wars . In the new version , Klaatu is unmoved as the child is distraught & upset at his reluctance to reanimate his dead father , in spite of having godlike powers over life & death . " Nothing is ever wasted , even in death . It is merely transformed ... " Klaatu explains . The scene where Klaatu meets professor Barnheart is true to the original , complete with chalkboard covered with advanced equations, & Klaatu correcting and making adjustments to the professors calculations , segueing to their discussion of the fate of mankind . " Once we stand at the precipice of destruction , we are capable of change. " is seed the professor plants ,with hopes it will change Klaatus plan. ( Instead of Sam Yaffa , we get John Cleese .. great casting ! ) The best part of " DTESS" is without a doubt , the new GORT . No actor in an oversized silvery diving suit for us ..in 2008 GORT is a gargantuan CGI masterpiece , with an oscillating ,neon cyclopean " eye " . Along with the ability to render any and all weapons & machinery useless & ineffectual , GORT is also capable of transforming itself into a swarm of" nano- locusts" , that devour and disintegrate anything inorganic or man - made . To me , the biggest disappointment was the absence of the monologue Micheal Rennie made , just before his departure from Earth . Without it , " DTESS" felt like an unmade bed , but with todays sets & lavish effects perhaps it is an unmade bed in an emperors palacial estate bedroom . - Nexus 6